You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
