i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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