I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
