goodnight i made you a song goodbye
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
