Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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