I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
