uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
