was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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