i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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