wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
