Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
