you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
