Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
