problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
