North Korea, Best Korea!
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
