You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
