Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I forget how to act sober
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
