I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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