Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
