i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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