I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
