oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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