Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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