Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
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