porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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