took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
