I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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