Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize