A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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