He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
