2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
