I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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