And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
