There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Holy shit dude........stairs
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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