If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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