Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
