I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I would ride that face into the sunset
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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