I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
