I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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