Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
