who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
