the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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