Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
