I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
