I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
