too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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