remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Can you bring me the toilet please
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
