I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Randomize
