SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
