Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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